Imperfection is Beauty and Madness is Genius....

Location: Canada

So I spent most of my Friday night with two house mates and my friend Zach, we were supposed to do Sambucca shots, but Zach tried to trick me, we clinked glasses, hit the glasses on the table and went to drink, except I drank and he didn't, he thought he could pretend to drink while I was the idiot who actually drunk, but I had the last laugh, as I was still holding the alcohol in my mouth, I spat it back into the cup, he looked at the cup with disgust and asked why I didn't swallow it, I said why should I if he didn't?

Girls are supposed to be these perfect human beings while guys can scratch their butts and burp then giggle like girls, why do I have to be perfect to get with an imperfect person?

I hate thinking I have to walk in those kind of footsteps, I guess that's one reason why I wanted to go abroad, nobody knows me and therefore I don't have to keep up the game of perfection, I can start from scratch...no make up, no pedicures and manicures...no perfection
so here I am at 3:15pm still sitting in my nightclothes with my hair all messy and no make up on, with nail varnish on only one thumb which is pretty much chipped off and cracked nails for the rest, I have hairy legs as I haven't shaved them since October when it was still warm, the only thing I can say I have been preserving is my eyebrows, they are styled and neat.

People have told me my eyes are pretty, and so I assume they are my best features, so while I don't wear make-up or anything, I keep my eyebrows done to keep my eyes looking sweet to at least keep some kind of cuteness instead of looking like a complete banshee.

What I've noticed though is, I have guys who still complement me, who still turn back to look at me, and all I can think is, I wish I could see what they see, because clearly I don't, and that's what's wrong with society, girls feel like they have to pretty themselves up in order to look the least bit pretty, when in fact guys don't actually care as much as we think.
Back in England, I was so used to wearing make-up, I couldn't leave the house without putting on some mascara, foundation and blusher, and to be honest it was getting to me, I didn't want to have to keep doing that, but when you've kept something up for so long you're expected to look a certain way, I felt like i'd look sick if I just stopped altogether.
But here in Canada, I stroll to class in hoodies and track pants, make-upless and my hair just brushed enough to look decent, and I love it.
My mum bought me over £100 worth of make up when I was 17 instead of buying me the shirts I wanted for 6th form, because she thought if my sister is younger than me and she wears it, I should start too, before that I was never a make-up person, I went out without make-up and went to 6th form without make-up, so maybe if she had never bought me so much, maybe I would still be quite natural.

It's such a great feeling to not have to do so much work to achieve a natural look.
Also i'll let you in on another secret, yes I wanted to cut my hair to have a new kind of look, to get rid of the split ends and start again, but really it was so that I didn't have to keep up a charade of putting in weaves, because after awhile what more styles can you do? how long do you have to keep it up? and when will the glue start to bug you and turn your hair into dreadlocks?

I can breathe easy knowing I don't have to be perfect and still look ok, in fact a lot of guys don't need you to look perfect, they don't want the big boobs that we think they do, they don't care how your nails look, they'd rather you not to wear weaves and coat your face in layers of make-up.
I prefer living in this reality than the one the media is making me feel I have to live in.

Don't get me wrong, I still feel insecure as hell about a lot of stuff, including my weight, I feel like I need to be at least an English size 10 to look decent, when in fact I have guys still coming on to me with the weight I'm currently at.
But in my opinion everyone is shallow, they look at looks first, including me, and so maybe i'd get a better selection of guys I feel like I want if I looked the part first, but I really can't be bothered at this present moment in time.
So i'm still pretty much a girl, worrying about the way I look, trying to cover the bags under my eyes, stick a bit of blusher on to take away the look of a vampire sucking the life out of me and spraying myself with perfume to smell the part....I just haven't shaved my legs in months, only wear make-up when I'm going out, sit around in no bra and my nightclothes well into the day, pull out wedgies when I have them and fart in the privacy of my own space.

And so my dear friends, imperfection is beauty and madness is genius....