Darling we've been dating for awhile now and I was wondering, will you....go to therapy with me?

Times are changing, and I feel like the older I get the more the generations after me are evolving quicker than an ape turned into man.
Kids have the latest phones a lot earlier, my three year old niece gave me fashion advice and is already very body conscious, people are having children a lot earlier (but that's more of coming full circle than being a new thing) and people are getting into relationships a lot younger and a lot manage to stick it out for years.

So when do you think is a good age as a couple to go to therapy? Gone are the days where you could turn around to a 16 year old and say "you're too young to know what love is" because I alone know a good handful of couples who met at 16 and have made it past seven years, couples are having children as young as 18 and getting married at 20, and 25 year olds earning over the £30,000 mark. We're in a new young era where everything people expected to wait years for are happening straight away

So with all the new issues going on in today's society and all the bumps and bruises that come along with being in a relationship, when is it acceptable to say to your partner "I think we need couples therapy"?

Although life is being led at such as fast pace, the decision whether to stay in a relationship due to certain issues that therapy may be able to help is being overlooked if not even thought about, couples who maybe wanted to stay together but just couldn't get past certain issues and became more than acquainted with the term "sometimes love just isn't enough" could probably work it out with the help of someone who's sole job is to help.

What do you think people would say if 20 year olds started to go to therapy?
Would relationships last longer?
Could a therapist help the young couples with issues such as:
-  Getting into a relationship where the partner, if not both of you, already have children?
- Being a happy couple and then you get pregnant and you both end up splitting up?
- Getting married at a young age and having to adapt to the changes of your partner you never noticed before?

I myself go through the usual couple issues that everyone does and sometimes you find yourself going in circles with the same issues and I know many couples who say it's just not going anywhere, they're fighting about the same thing and so decide to call it a day and find someone better suited for them, but is leaving always the answer? How can you tell whether it won't happen in the next relationship?

Then there are the generations before us - our family, are they too close or too stuck in their own habits to help be a councilor? Or do you think they'll reminisce over their own relationships, be it successful or failed and bring their own prejudices into the conversation and subconsciously making you see things you never thought of before or strike a fear in you that you don't want to repeat in your own relationship.


Isn't it strange that though we have grown up faster than the generations before us, there are still some things that we consider we're too young for, although many go hand in hand, if you're going to start one thing, then why not get the other? Why is having a child within your acceptability of being an adult but getting therapy just that little bit much adult for you?


It's just a thought that crept up on me and I wondered what other people thought about the concept, do you think there is an age limit or time period when it's acceptable for us to start getting couples therapy or do you think it's something we should really start incorporating into our young lives? Would it save a lot of relationships and keep a lot of young families together?

Dear Uterus

Dear uterus we need to talk....
It's not me, it really is you,
For some reason, you have let society make you think we have to be at war with one another, but you are apart of me, therefore we really should be one, like I don't even know how many times I have to sing the Lion King song to you for you to really understand that.
I get that Eve ate the apple and so you feel it's your destiny to inflict pain on me, but you're missing two key facts

1) That was the old testament God, in the new testament he'd be like, "yo uterus, my son has come to Earth, I understand humans more now, chill"

2) My parents had me baptised as a baby, which is supposed to wash away that sin so that I am pure...which means you're pure and you no longer have to carry Eve's burden anymore

So based on that, I have no idea why you're trying to kill me from the inside,

I knowwww you must be dying for a baby and you see all these girls out here with theirs and you're like "where the heck is mine?!?!?" but listen uterus, patience is a virtue, body clock, heart and brain all understand that and they have no desire for me to have babies now, so with that said, you need to be a big uterus AND GROW THE HELL UP!!!!! Because I am literally sick and tired of you temper tantrums every damn month, 12 YEARS!!!! I've had to put up with this and i'm soooooo done, you need to stop throwing lightening, kicking, pinching, stabbing and whatever else you do up inside me and just be easy like Sunday morning,

I promise I will give you a baby, just wait like *counts on fingers* 4/5 years, you've waited 25 like 4/5 years isn't even a thing

But the hot flushes, cold flushes, pain, stabbing pain, cramps, stitches, heavy flows, increased tiredness and decreased appetite has to stop, because no one else in my household is dealing with it, so really why should I?
You're making me wish for menopause or to have you removed, both very premature thought processes, you're turning me into a crazy person who tries to take naps under her desk at work, we can't keep on with this world war, we need to be united

Yours sincerely
Carina smile emoticon

p.s. I best see some major improvements next month

Another Light bulb moment...

Location: London

So I tried to do this once a week and well....I have failed horribly haha, but that doesn't mean I don't have so much talent to showcase (not my own)

Today's spotlight moment is Giselle Ali,
I met her during my first year of uni, she has become one of the most talented makeup artists I have come across, whenever I have people say my eyebrows look amazing, she is the name I have on my lips,
Not only is she talented in Makeup, she has mastered the HD Brow, she does waxing, and not the conventional hot wax and strip technique either, and on top of all this, she even gives makeup lessons.

She has just turned 25 and her work has been showcased in fashion shoots, weddings, magazines, birthdays, makeup talks, workshops and more

Follow her work on instagram - @giselle_makeup
Follow her work on Twitter - @giselle_makeup
Follow her work on Facebook - Giselle Makeup Artist
Contact her for her work  - info@gisellemakeup.co.uk
Check out her website - www.gisellemakeup.co.uk

You won't believe how talented she is until you see it for yourself, she loves making people feel beautiful, why not give her a try?

Pelo Malo

Location: London

Yesterday I went to a private viewing of an exhibiton called Pelo Malo, which is Spanish for 'bad hair' that is a term used in Latin American countries to coin people with curly or Afro-Caribbean hair.
The artist Jennifer Kaplan-Ortiz has used her photography and art to capture aspects of this hair,
This exhibit discussed how women are perceived through their distinct hair types,while touching on themes of beauty, along with racial and gender issues currently felt by women globally.

I had three favourite art pieces of the night (some which you can buy), the first as a close shot of hair being blow dried, the second was of shelves of manikin heads with different wigs on, some where even bald and my third was two burnt tiles that had burnt hair glued and painted to it, this to me represents heat damage, hair dye and hair glue. 

It was a very interesting night, there were two guest speakers on the night, both being Black British natural hair bloggers, who told us about their hair journey, how they felt in society and then took to the floor with questions. 

ideas and thoughts were touched upon that I had never thought about myself, one of the biggest things I took away with me last night was the discussion on hair and the job sector, many felt that they could never go into an interview with the natural state of their hair as they wouldn't get the job, society see natural hair as messy, unprofessional and to them it demishes our appearance, I got into conversation with this one lady, who said straight that she would never let her fifteen year old daughter go to an interview with the natural state of her curly hair (whom I met and has the most gorgeous curly hair), because she felt that the employers would judge her in a matter of seconds based on her hair and not accept her, she would advise her daughter to straighten her hair. 

One of my friends asked the two bloggers whether they felt that the world would flip, where natural hair, curly hair would become the in thing rather than straightened hair, they said maybe as we have made a difference since the early 1900s where no evidence can be found of women walking around with curly hair or afros, but in my opinion I feel like it won't, yes the world has slowly started to accept it as so many people are choosing to love and rock their natural hair, but the media show new trends and buy into it, they go where the money goes right, so how long before the natural hair trend dies out? Do you think it will ever grow to be world changing? I think that society tolerates it, and they may continue to tolerate it, but i'm not sure if they will ever completely accept it.

We talked about being able to move up the employment ladder with natural, curly and afro hair, one of the bloggers mentioned that they met a panel of people not too long ago where there was a black lady with cut short hair who was one of the heads of HSBC, but the lady with the two daughters I spoke to made a valid point, she can wear her hair like that BECAUSE she is at the top, but if we asked her what her hair was like before she reached there, would she say she wore wigs and weaves, had her hair relaxed, confirmed to society so she could grow?

Another thing mentioned was how we feel about her hair, some may have heard the expression "your hair is your beauty" which I know I was told as a child growing up, how many of you felt you didn't look that pretty because your hair wasn't 'on point'? We find it is our own kind who has the negative thoughts, brainwash us so we find a problem more with our hair than many of the outsiders do, I know I have come to work with my natural hair out, and hardly anyone noticed, and I usually always wear a curly wig, I have also come to work with kinky twists in and received lots of compliments and I work in a place where there are only a handful of black people. 
It did get me thinking though, if I had applied for this job or others with my natural hair state, would I have been offered the job? I'm lucky in the sense my company hires people from all walks of life so the answer would probably be yes, but if I wasn't here, how easy would it be somewhere else?
How many of you have had parents say "you're going out with your hair looking like that?' and all it is, is your hair is in its natural state, I find it's the friends and family members that seem to have the most issues with your hair than the world you move around in everyday, their negativity grows and embeds in you so it always seems worse off than it is.
This lady who was caucasion mentioned that she had gone to the hairdressers and this african lady was getting her hair done, when they had finished, she said the lady's hair looked amazing, but the lady put a wig on top to leave, she said everyone pleaded with her to leave her hair the way it was, why spend all that time and money just to cover it up and the lady said "there's no way I could go to work looking like this" 

Do we really have to keep our hair 'tame' to be accepted, to feel comfortable, to move up in the world? Will society ever see it's beauty and help people with curly hair, afro hair, Afro-Caribbean type textures to feel their natural hair state is their beauty and they are beautiful wearing it? 
Only time will tell......

Don't forget to check out the exhibition if you have time (it runs from today until 10th August), I have included links to the exhibition and to her kickStarter video that helped make this possible and a success:

Pelo Malo Exhibition - Anise Gallery : Click Here

Jennifer Kaplan's website: Click Here

KickStarter Video: Click Here

Mirror mirror on the wall...

Location: London

'You are so used to your features, you don't know how beautiful you look to a stranger'

I saw this and used it as my Facebook status yesterday, it really appealed to me, I guess after reading over it a few times, I saw its depth, 

Who ever really thinks about things like that?
I started to get curious (which is a usual thing for me) and I thought, how cool would it be if something was designed so that you could see how other people perceive you? In relationships when people say to their other halves "you're beautiful" or "if only you could see yourself the way I see you" etc their other half will smile, or feel warm inside for awhile, until they go back to not liking something about themselves.

Imagine having a partner and children, and you could see the way they see you, I've always wondered, when I look in the mirror, is what I see, what others see?

You're so used to seeing yourself everyday, when you're brushing your teeth, washing your face, fixing your hair, applying makeup etc you've seen and touched every spot, discolouration, wart, you've thought to yourself that one of your features is too small, too big, too wide, too narrow etc and you're constantly judging yourself, to the point it becomes second nature, subconscious, but only you are very aware of all of these "issues" other people are not, the very thing you hate could be the very thing someone else loves.

Take me for example, I've scrutinised my nose, yet I've had friends call it cute, like a button nose, 
I've always thought my lips were too big or as a kid my eyes were to huge, yet those two are apparently my best features as they are the two i'm always complemented on, it's just so strange how it works, 
Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder, and I would love to look through those eyes....

I have this memory, where i'm brushing my hair in the mirror, and my boyfriend at the time comes up behind me, looks at me in the mirror and says "you're beautiful" and I instantly pull a face, and then remember to smile, how I wish then and there I could have seen what he saw...

I was having this discussion on the phone yesterday night and I mentioned how sometimes I wish my mum hadn't taken me to boots and got them to do my makeup and then proceeded to buy me the products, because I was comfortable in my skin back then, now I feel ugly without it, I wonder how I look without makeup to other people, do they pull a face and think "oh wow, she's not that attractive" or do they even notice?  The reply I got back was "you look the same to me with or without makeup on, the only difference is when you're wearing lipstick, then your lips are purple, pink or red, you're still pretty without makeup" again, I wished then and there I could see myself the way they do, to see if there really is as huge difference as I think there is when i'm wearing or not wearing makeup, or if there's only a slight difference when perceived by other people.

I watched this video the other day, one of those 'Dove - Real Beauty' videos (why don't they show them on TV over here??) it was of a Forensic sketch artist, he got people to describe themselves and he would draw them (he couldn't see them, only hear them), he then got a stranger to describe them, so by the end of it he had two pictures per person, one they described themselves and the other someone else described and it was crazy to see how different they were, how we criticise ourselves so harshly.

You are so used to your features, you don't know how beautiful you look to a stranger

Light bulb moment...Lights, Camera, ACTION!!

Location: London 

So while writing up my latest Instagram post (CC_London) I had a brainwave, how awesome would it be to showcase a talented friend a week on this, get their name out there, I have so many followers on my various social networking sites (I have no idea why) that I know lots of people would see it, and I have sooo many talented entrepreneurs as friends, it would be a crime not to.



So as I was working on Joelle's post, I shall use today to be her spotlight:


She has her own company call BlueBird Pictures, with the website being bluebirdpictures.org (how easy is that to remember?)
If you head to her website, she has lots of posts on there,  documentaries, series and shorts that she's been working on. 
If you google her (Joelle David), her short documentary on BBC 3 pops up, or if you're lazy, you could just click on the link:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01rjf6f 

You can also become a member of Bluebird Pictures, they support creatives in all areas, so whether you have a documentary, short film etc

Her latest thing she is working on is called "Being 20 Something" (makes you interested in what it's about right?)  It's a documentary exploring love, sex and relationships in your twenties.

Where she will attempt to interpret some of the communication barriers we seem to encounter as twenty somethings in the modern era when it comes to dating.

If this sounds interesting to you and you would like to take part in this, and talk candidly about relationships, head over to the website and/or email  shout-outs@bluebirdpictures.org.uk

Tune in next week for my post on Giselle Ali - MUA

I wish I was a glow worm, a glow worm's never glum....

Location: London

Everyone talks about how to care for an introvert, how it's hard for them to put themselves out there in life, how they have to struggle with social settings, and where I do not disagree with these truths, I do wonder if people realise how hard it is to be an extrovert.....

I am known for my bubbly demeanour, which is great, I love that people come to me for a good time, to lift their spirits, someone to talk to etc, but it's hard work and it's tiring.

I like to talk to everyone, get to know who is in my surroundings, if I pass someone I will smile, I will make polite conversation if I have to be within that person's vicinity, but what always usually happens, and shocks me every time, is that if it is a guy, unless they are a homosexual, they assume I am flirting with them....

because I am being nice, I am acknowledging your existence, does not mean I am interested in you in a sexual way, why can't you just take it as me being friendly, 

this also leads to the part where guys say they get on so well with me, they feel a connection, we just clicked so easily, I have come to realise this may not happen to many people which is why they run with it, but in my world, I click with everyone, I have a connection with everyone, so for you thinking there is some sort of significance and it's rare, it's just a normal everyday thing for me.

Sometimes after being happy and bubbly for so long, I need to take out my batteries and recharge them, I might be like the Duracell bunny, but even they need to recharge, but for some strange reason, when I come to work, or finish work, or just chilling with friends, they automatically think something is wrong and pester me with questions as if I'm hiding something, I have to explain that I am content, I am good, I am happy, the only thing I am not is hyper or super smiley, sometimes I need to be like everyone else for a minute, I have no idea why that is such a hard concept to understand.

This brings me onto my point about having to always talk, does anyone know how hard that is? It may come natural to an extrovert, because they are bubbly and I guess some are well rounded, it's easy to strike up a conversation about anything and talk about everything, I recently had a conversation about feet, diarrhea, vomiting and farting, there is no limit to my choice of conversation, but in saying that, sometimes, there is that rare moment, when we fall into silence, I then get nudged or told to say something, create a conversation, I don't think people get that a conversation is a two way thing, I've been lucky enough to have conversations with people who seem to be skilled in carrying it, but when they don't, obviously I will struggle, as much as I would like to be superwoman, I am not, I do not have a C on my shirt for Conversation Girl.

Introverts are known to like their own space, they may feel drained from too much social activity whereas I would thrive from it, but even I need a holiday, I like my own space as much as the next person, sometimes going out and being bubbly is such a chore, nevertheless, I have my moments where I go out of my mind being on my own, I crave adventure and spontaneity, which is hard to find in others, they like the idea of wanting to do something fun or crazy, but when it comes down to it, they can't be bothered, and I am left on my own and being on my own for too long never leads to anything good, I remember one time, I burned my top lip while trying to use those sand paper buffer things you can get for your legs....curiosity and experimenting on my own body when I'm bored is something I need to learn NOT to do.

Another thing is confidence, people associate my outward bubbly behaviour with confidence and I have no idea why, I like a challenge or an adventure as much as the next person, but that doesn't mean I am full of confidence, If anything I'm usually faking it, if you fake confidence, people generally don't know that you're not, I tend to do the things no one else will do only to move a situation along, I hate having to wait around for someone to pluck up the courage for a 2 second job, but if people haven't noticed, I sit around with everyone too, I have to coax myself up to do it, and learn to laugh at myself when the situation fails or doesn't go according to plan, so stop making me do the dirty work because you guys feel I'm the most confident, I am sometimes, but no more than the average person.

That ladies and gentlemen concludes my little rant about being an extrovert, I even have friends that are introverts and we get on like a house on fire, just because they may not do well around crowds, doesn't mean they aren't as bubbly and crazy around less people, stop treating them like kittens and stop treating us like giants.