Dear Uterus

Dear uterus we need to talk....
It's not me, it really is you,
For some reason, you have let society make you think we have to be at war with one another, but you are apart of me, therefore we really should be one, like I don't even know how many times I have to sing the Lion King song to you for you to really understand that.
I get that Eve ate the apple and so you feel it's your destiny to inflict pain on me, but you're missing two key facts

1) That was the old testament God, in the new testament he'd be like, "yo uterus, my son has come to Earth, I understand humans more now, chill"

2) My parents had me baptised as a baby, which is supposed to wash away that sin so that I am pure...which means you're pure and you no longer have to carry Eve's burden anymore

So based on that, I have no idea why you're trying to kill me from the inside,

I knowwww you must be dying for a baby and you see all these girls out here with theirs and you're like "where the heck is mine?!?!?" but listen uterus, patience is a virtue, body clock, heart and brain all understand that and they have no desire for me to have babies now, so with that said, you need to be a big uterus AND GROW THE HELL UP!!!!! Because I am literally sick and tired of you temper tantrums every damn month, 12 YEARS!!!! I've had to put up with this and i'm soooooo done, you need to stop throwing lightening, kicking, pinching, stabbing and whatever else you do up inside me and just be easy like Sunday morning,

I promise I will give you a baby, just wait like *counts on fingers* 4/5 years, you've waited 25 like 4/5 years isn't even a thing

But the hot flushes, cold flushes, pain, stabbing pain, cramps, stitches, heavy flows, increased tiredness and decreased appetite has to stop, because no one else in my household is dealing with it, so really why should I?
You're making me wish for menopause or to have you removed, both very premature thought processes, you're turning me into a crazy person who tries to take naps under her desk at work, we can't keep on with this world war, we need to be united

Yours sincerely
Carina smile emoticon

p.s. I best see some major improvements next month