Everyone talks about how to care for an introvert, how it's hard for them to put themselves out there in life, how they have to struggle with social settings, and where I do not disagree with these truths, I do wonder if people realise how hard it is to be an extrovert.....
I am known for my bubbly demeanour, which is great, I love that people come to me for a good time, to lift their spirits, someone to talk to etc, but it's hard work and it's tiring.
I like to talk to everyone, get to know who is in my surroundings, if I pass someone I will smile, I will make polite conversation if I have to be within that person's vicinity, but what always usually happens, and shocks me every time, is that if it is a guy, unless they are a homosexual, they assume I am flirting with them....
because I am being nice, I am acknowledging your existence, does not mean I am interested in you in a sexual way, why can't you just take it as me being friendly,
this also leads to the part where guys say they get on so well with me, they feel a connection, we just clicked so easily, I have come to realise this may not happen to many people which is why they run with it, but in my world, I click with everyone, I have a connection with everyone, so for you thinking there is some sort of significance and it's rare, it's just a normal everyday thing for me.
Sometimes after being happy and bubbly for so long, I need to take out my batteries and recharge them, I might be like the Duracell bunny, but even they need to recharge, but for some strange reason, when I come to work, or finish work, or just chilling with friends, they automatically think something is wrong and pester me with questions as if I'm hiding something, I have to explain that I am content, I am good, I am happy, the only thing I am not is hyper or super smiley, sometimes I need to be like everyone else for a minute, I have no idea why that is such a hard concept to understand.
This brings me onto my point about having to always talk, does anyone know how hard that is? It may come natural to an extrovert, because they are bubbly and I guess some are well rounded, it's easy to strike up a conversation about anything and talk about everything, I recently had a conversation about feet, diarrhea, vomiting and farting, there is no limit to my choice of conversation, but in saying that, sometimes, there is that rare moment, when we fall into silence, I then get nudged or told to say something, create a conversation, I don't think people get that a conversation is a two way thing, I've been lucky enough to have conversations with people who seem to be skilled in carrying it, but when they don't, obviously I will struggle, as much as I would like to be superwoman, I am not, I do not have a C on my shirt for Conversation Girl.
Introverts are known to like their own space, they may feel drained from too much social activity whereas I would thrive from it, but even I need a holiday, I like my own space as much as the next person, sometimes going out and being bubbly is such a chore, nevertheless, I have my moments where I go out of my mind being on my own, I crave adventure and spontaneity, which is hard to find in others, they like the idea of wanting to do something fun or crazy, but when it comes down to it, they can't be bothered, and I am left on my own and being on my own for too long never leads to anything good, I remember one time, I burned my top lip while trying to use those sand paper buffer things you can get for your legs....curiosity and experimenting on my own body when I'm bored is something I need to learn NOT to do.
Another thing is confidence, people associate my outward bubbly behaviour with confidence and I have no idea why, I like a challenge or an adventure as much as the next person, but that doesn't mean I am full of confidence, If anything I'm usually faking it, if you fake confidence, people generally don't know that you're not, I tend to do the things no one else will do only to move a situation along, I hate having to wait around for someone to pluck up the courage for a 2 second job, but if people haven't noticed, I sit around with everyone too, I have to coax myself up to do it, and learn to laugh at myself when the situation fails or doesn't go according to plan, so stop making me do the dirty work because you guys feel I'm the most confident, I am sometimes, but no more than the average person.
That ladies and gentlemen concludes my little rant about being an extrovert, I even have friends that are introverts and we get on like a house on fire, just because they may not do well around crowds, doesn't mean they aren't as bubbly and crazy around less people, stop treating them like kittens and stop treating us like giants.
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